Planning weddings with Cinderella

It's been more than two weeks since I got engaged. John took me to a cozy park by the river, the site of our first date. He had schemed to have a romantic picnic set-up for us with roses, candles, cheesecake and sparkling grape juice. He soon got down on one knee and asked me to marry him and I eagerly said, "YES!" We reminisced about how "we"happened, prayed together and spilled the grape juice all over the tablecloth and ourselves.

Since then wedding plans have been in full swing. Some parts of it have been easy; some parts have been very difficult. I have enjoyed finding creative ways to personalize the wedding so that it reflects who we each are. For example, we are having an international dessert bar with desserts from all the places that John and I have traveled. (We also have some other non-traditional ideas but I can't give away all the secrets yet). The most stressful part of the process has been finding ways to include and honor all the people that we love and who have shaped who we are today.

From time to time during wedding planning I have to admit that I find myself slipping into the Cinderella mindset. I think that actually our culture does a good job of selling this kind of wedding. You hear it sometimes when you are trying to make decisions about how much to spend on certain wedding items; then someone encourages you," just go all out- you only do this once!" Or when you are perusing the web, you see these ceremonies that could be part of a fairy tale world with an endless sea of flowers and chiffon and soft candlelight ambiance. I start to think that I have to have all the glitter and sequins, the sparkle and glitz, an extravagant beauty, the princess complex or as David's Bridal slogan says, "the wedding of my dreams." In this Cinderella mindset, it ends up being about the beautiful satin gown, the carriage pulled with white horses, the shimmering headband and the glass slippers; you end up not remembering much about the prince or their life together after they found each other.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm into beauty and glitter isn't bad, but really when it comes down to it, weddings are symbolic, single-day events where two people commit themselves to each other. They are a time to celebrate with family and friends the endings and new beginnings. So my goal is to concentrate on planning a celebration that focuses on relationships while preserving a simple, reflective beauty. I hope that I can remember that while I am excited about wedding planning and having the people we love together, mostly I'm excited about figuring out how my life with John is going to look. I want to stress out about how we can best complement each other's strengths and weaknesses instead of which photographer we should choose. I want to spend my best energies figuring out how to communicate effectively and serve others together, not which bridesmaid dresses my attendants will wear. I want to freak out about discovering what it means to love him the Christ-like way, not about how to decorate our outdoor auditorium.

So ta-ta for now, I'm off to a day of making decisions CALMLY as a non-frazzled bride-to-be should...

...until the next time I lose perspective and slip into my glass slippers or put on my Cinderella tiara.