Airplanes and candles

The last week has been low-key- some time on the beach (though not much sun unfortunately), several long walks with the sand beneath my toes, lots of tasty fish and tropical fruit, a few good novels, some writing and of course some reflection on the end of a chapter.

My time in Cameroon has been rich, intense, uncomfortable and stimulating. Throughout the last months, I have felt as one who has only seen a drawing of an object such as an airplane. The two-dimensional drawing brings out certain aspects of the object, but when one actually encounters the airplane, it becomes obvious that there were many aspects of the object that were not captured on paper. The two-dimensional drawing missed the roar of the airplane engine, the smell of the exhaust fumes, the popping of one’s ears, the salty taste of peanuts and the fizz of ginger ale; all of these are understood only after one sees an airplane and experiences travel in one. In the same way, I feel as if my experiences in Cameroon have opened my eyes to many aspects of Cameroon/Africa, mission and literacy about which I had never thought when I was researching from the pages of a book. Suddenly, the ideas are not abstract anymore- they are complex, alive, associated with real faces, coupled with vivid smells, linked with unfamiliar tastes and hard to stuff back into the small box from whence they came.

I would also compare my experiences in Cameroon to a candle which illuminates one's reflection in the mirror during a power outage (a phenomenon which happens regularly in Cameroon). I think as I learn things about the world around me, I always end up learning things about myself. Some of the things are flattering or at least affirming; my supervisor's evaluation states that I "connect easily with others" and "take initiative" (my siblings refer to this attribute as bossy). Some of the lessons are rather painful- this summer I have learned a lot about how selfish I am, how impatient and as one admirer told me frankly downright "stubborn". Some of the insights are just informative; I think that in the next phase of life, I will choose to work with children in the classroom instead of adults. I also think I'll probably move to an urban center instead of a remote village.

On my last day in Cameroon, I feel extremely grateful- for new friendships, for kindness, for hospitality, for good health, for the beauty, for the priveleges, for the prospect of continuing to process my summer with many of you over coffee.