Perks of a small town

So I know that my profile talks about my infatuation with the big city, but at least for the next year, I'm going to have to put that little crush on the back burner and learn to live with "what is."

So in that spirit, there really are some good things about small towns, like:

1. You apparently don't need a single piece of identification in order to obtain a library card to the town library, just a head nod in response to the question, "Do you live around here?"
2. There are no lines at the BMV- yep, I didn't even sit down in the waiting area before they called my number.
3. Cheap rent!
4. Lots of tree-lined country roads to jog on without the bother of traffic
5. Small, unkept cemetaries to "discover" on walks/runs (I find cemetaries to be strangely peaceful)
6. You end up supporting local businesses (a value that is sometimes compromised when Mennonite frugalness is tempted by the bargain prices offered by corporate America)
7. Amish neighbors bring you "extra" green beans and tomatoes from their garden
8. No need to learn road names; you can give directions without them- just use phrases like "the stoplight in town" or "across from the bank"
9. You can teach at a public school and not need your behavior plan for the first four days of the school year
10. No parking tickets, overnight parking permits or traffic jams (unless you count the Tuesday flea market crowd in which case you just have to take the back roads to avoid the large groups of women with puffy paint on their shirts looking for more knick-knacks to clutter up their homes)

I'm sure there are more, but I'll stop for now.

The drama is over- for now.

So I survived my first week of school. None of my students cried and so far nobody has decided to hate reading for the rest of their life (though there is still plenty of time left for this to happen and usually one doesn't figure these sorts of reactions out until you are sitting in your therapist's office twenty years later). That said, I think I have one of those "cushy" teaching positions- you know the ones with mostly middle class kids, minimal behavior issues, supportive colleagues, involved parents and a nurturing administrator. Should I feel guilty or just grateful?

Crash and burn

I arrived home six days ago and my adrenaline served to help me coast through the first five days at home. Today I crashed and burned; in fact the image that comes to mind is of an airplane flying along and suddenly both motors cut out. I think it all began when I allowed myself to mentally play the destructive version of the "what if" game. This version starts out with very small, practical what ifs like "What if tomorrow when my students come for the first time I forget to take the lunch count? What if I send them home on the wrong bus?" Then you progress to "What if tomorrow when my students come they all start to cry at the same moment? What if I do something that makes them hate reading for the rest of their lives?" It just builds from there and pretty soon you are envisioning your students learning nothing the entire year, running up and down the halls, blaspheming my name around the dinner table at home and mouthing off to the other teachers. I even started to dream about applying for a job at Wanna Cup (the local diner) because less responsibility, lower expectations and brainless work sounded easy and tempting.

During my five mile walk around the lake and through the woods, I regained a bit of perspective. It could always go the other way, "What if my students end up liking me?" or "What if I build report with the other staff members and parents?" Besides, the corporation offered me a great benefit package today with some kickin' health insurance; I'm pretty sure Wanna Cup could not compete!

3 cheers for Turkey!

I rarely visit a place that I do not enjoy. Turkey has turned out to be no exception to the rule. Here are just a few reasons to love Turkey:

You can eat baklava for breakfast.
The Hagia Sophia really is magnificent.
History can mean 2,000 years old.
You can live in Asia and go to church in Europe.
A commute means taking a ferry boat across the Bospherous.
Shakespeare plays are performed outdoors in castle ruins.

Oh, I could continue but time is up! (Next post from the good ol US of A- where I know where the apostrophe is on the keyboard and the dotted i is in the usual spot).

Airplanes and candles

The last week has been low-key- some time on the beach (though not much sun unfortunately), several long walks with the sand beneath my toes, lots of tasty fish and tropical fruit, a few good novels, some writing and of course some reflection on the end of a chapter.

My time in Cameroon has been rich, intense, uncomfortable and stimulating. Throughout the last months, I have felt as one who has only seen a drawing of an object such as an airplane. The two-dimensional drawing brings out certain aspects of the object, but when one actually encounters the airplane, it becomes obvious that there were many aspects of the object that were not captured on paper. The two-dimensional drawing missed the roar of the airplane engine, the smell of the exhaust fumes, the popping of one’s ears, the salty taste of peanuts and the fizz of ginger ale; all of these are understood only after one sees an airplane and experiences travel in one. In the same way, I feel as if my experiences in Cameroon have opened my eyes to many aspects of Cameroon/Africa, mission and literacy about which I had never thought when I was researching from the pages of a book. Suddenly, the ideas are not abstract anymore- they are complex, alive, associated with real faces, coupled with vivid smells, linked with unfamiliar tastes and hard to stuff back into the small box from whence they came.

I would also compare my experiences in Cameroon to a candle which illuminates one's reflection in the mirror during a power outage (a phenomenon which happens regularly in Cameroon). I think as I learn things about the world around me, I always end up learning things about myself. Some of the things are flattering or at least affirming; my supervisor's evaluation states that I "connect easily with others" and "take initiative" (my siblings refer to this attribute as bossy). Some of the lessons are rather painful- this summer I have learned a lot about how selfish I am, how impatient and as one admirer told me frankly downright "stubborn". Some of the insights are just informative; I think that in the next phase of life, I will choose to work with children in the classroom instead of adults. I also think I'll probably move to an urban center instead of a remote village.

On my last day in Cameroon, I feel extremely grateful- for new friendships, for kindness, for hospitality, for good health, for the beauty, for the priveleges, for the prospect of continuing to process my summer with many of you over coffee.